Thursday, January 8, 2009

Attitude Adjustment

I'm sitting here in the dark, it's after midnight, and my mind is racing, as usual. Maybe it's the new year, I don't know, but I realized that I need to re-evaluate how I approach things so that I can really and truly regain my health.

I've been gluten free for a little over a year now, and hands down with out a doubt, I am doing so much better than I was. But I'm still not where I want to be. I have days, like today, when I have so much I need and want to accomplish, but can't quite get the energy or motivation to do so. I eat something and then I start feeling, well, sort of blah. Eliminating gluten was really not that hard, maybe because the change was so drastic and I felt better almost immediately. But for some reason, knowing that I should do another round of eliminations to see if something else is causing me problems and actually doing it are just not working well together. I already know that I don't handle dairy very well, and yet I continue to have little bits here and there.

Perhaps I've just had enough of feeling like there's nothing really wrong, but something is not quite right. I looked in the mirror tonight and my face looked like a 16 year olds. Something is not working right in my body, and I'm adjusting my attitude so that I can figure out what it is. For so long, I thought that because I was feeling ok, I didn't have any other food intolerances. I mean, I already had to give up eating gluten. So now, I face having to add something or take something away. And that's ok, because now I think I'm ready.

So, I needed an attitude adjustment. At least I know the cause of my sickness. There's people out there who are sick and don't know why, with autoimmune diseases and the only way to manage it is to take medication everyday. At least I don't have to deal with that, although I'm starting to worry that if I don't start to take better care of myself, I will.

So, off I go to the online library, where I will see what kind of info I can find. And then maybe, my brain will calm down enough to let me sleep... ok, I guess we'll have to see about that one.

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