I suppose I've been fairly contemplative recently. I just turned 30, and I think any time you begin a new decade, it's easy to take time to reflect on your accomplishments; the things you wanted to accomplish, the things you didn't even know you wanted to accomplish, and the things you forgot about.
So I write this tonight sort of as a laying bare of my soul. As I look back on the past 10 years, I begin by looking at someone that is really only a slight resemblance of who I am today. But that person, going through those experiences, has shaped who I am today almost more than I can comprehend. It's amazing how much can change in just 1 year, and 10 years really almost seems like a lifetime to me.
In the past 10 years I have gone from abundance to poverty. Twice. I have lost my health and regained it. I saw the first glimpses of my beautiful daughter via ultrasound, only to have the doctor say in the next breath that something could be seriously wrong with her. I've come to personally realize the value of hard work and determination. But most importantly, I've come to realize how rich I am when I see my children, with their larger than life personalities; when I spend a lazy weekend with my 84 year old grandmother; when I laugh so hard I can't breathe with my mom; and when I remember that my husband is still absolutely my best friend.
Over the past few years, life has sure thrown me some curve balls. Sometimes I thought I was totally going to crack, and other times, it was just another day. Ten years ago I wanted to be a doctor, and I was going through Duke to accomplish this. Today, the thought of that makes me laugh and cringe at the same time. Five years ago I just wanted to not be sick anymore. One year ago I was wondering if what I was doing was worth it.
As I keep reflecting, I realize that today I am very content with who I am and where we are heading. I have a great sense of accomplishment as I look around at my life. Ten years from now, who knows. Really, who even knows what the next year will bring! But I'm ready for it. I kinda like growing and changing ever so slightly. It's what keeps life interesting.